You have pigs too - lucky you. It is funny how in age your mind replays the past. At 45 this has been happening to me as well. Only instead of looking at the reruns with sadness, anger or guilt, somehow I can look at the whole situation from an outsiders perspective. This has been like a gift for me allowing for self forgiveness. In other words, how i perceived my reality was only in reaction to larger things that were going on. It totally is weird to still feel like a girl and be an old woman, to long for a life of a girl and relish the peace that comes with age. We are such little characters in such a large story. Thanks for sharing and letting me share, peace for all.