September 28, 2010

Moulting - How to Be Free

I think today is the exact midpoint of my life. Things that were, became no more and things that will be, will be. I have planned and struggled to get this far in life. The course of events have led me to this place of peaceful contentment. Yet, each moment of the day, I say "What's the plan?" Where do I push on to? What will keep us safe? What is left undone? What will I regret and how will I get hurt?

It is the pushing forward day by day that has got me to today. It would have had I planned or not. Today I realized the plan is complete, the seeds were sown, nurtured, harvested and shared. Today I plan no more, I don't feel inadequate about what isn't done, or what people think, or what might happen. I think back on days, and years and times and they are my flowers, my weeds, my summer air. I am free.

I didn't feel free just a couple of hours ago. Being in bed all day, down with chronic problems, I thought of all that wasn't being done and sadly things I wished I had done that had not.

I was down for weeks on end this summer. Lots of chores did not get done. It didn't matter so much though, many crops failed this year, without my help, because of the wacky weather. I still have a long list of chores, here let me show you:

1. smoke meat, brisket to pastrami and pork to bacons and hams
2. bring in fertilizer to dry to be used on indoor tomatoes, cukes, and peppers
3. drill holes in birch logs for 300 mushroom plugs (this is first of the list)
4. hunt for wild mushrooms, last week before it freezes
5. find where the squirrels are stashing the walnuts and put them in freezer
6. pick apples, pears, plums and grapes - good thing they are all late ripening
7. pick rosehips and weeds for winter chicken feed
8. do in the turkeys, I am sad about this
9. cook 40 pounds of tomatoes into sauce, saurkrut a 10 pound cabbage
10. put tomato cages around indoor veggies
11. plant mesclun and Chinese brassicas to grow inside
12. winterize chicken coup, haul wheelbarrow loads of wood chips for bedding
13. winterize outdoor seedlings in pots by moving to a shelter spot and mulch
14. bring in dalias and glads
15. move worm bins indoors, fill them for winter
16. dishes and sweeping, this never comes off my list
17. finishes mending
18. move beads and inventory back into workshop
19. Thresh saved seed heads
20. I could go on and on and on

The little accomplishments, that never seemed to make a difference, always do. Last year we had a record amount of fruit and I still have lots frozen, even though we ate at our pleasure all winter. If I hadn't put it up last year, we would be lacking this winter. My garden is full of plants, from seeds planted only once, but have been growing more for many years. The same can be said for the chickens and the fruit trees and bushes. This year, without any assist from me, there are 40 new chickens. We are well stocked and secure in our readiness for winter.

I do not have to plan anymore, life doesn't seem a struggle any longer. My place is to be available, as I am needed by my garden, literally and figuratively. It is a beautiful place to be.


  1. It sounds as if you have 'bloomed where you are planted' and are here to stay as long as you are able and fit. Nice place to be in life. Hoping you feel some regained strength over the winter months when daily grind is not so strenuous!

  2. It's a good feeling to have and the only really sensible view on life as a whole. Hope your chronic whatsit is leaving you with worry about the future. I believe you can overcome any sickness of the body with the right set of the mind. Still... a hell of a to do list! If you were on the same continent I might just have just popped over and given you a hand and learned all those things about animal husbandry from you in return.

  3. This looks a little bit like my list! long and time consuming. However, God willing, it will all get done in due course. When you get a little time, it would sure be good to hear what your set up was for producing the 40 chicks! My goal next year is not to have to buy any ( other than a couple of exotics, or heritage birds).

    Remember, lists get done one item at a time. Start with the easy ones.

  4. Thanks for the encouragement you guys. I always run a list this long, it is just usually I feel bad about what isn't done. Now, for some reason, it is just a list of things to do, with no emotional attachment. The chicks are the set eggs from free range chickens, no effort on my part at all. I just let providence has its way. Peace
    p.s. i always start with the hardest one, lol

  5. Your post brings to mind one of my favorite quotes:

    “One day at a time--this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering.”

  6. It is a long list of chores. I always start with the one that takes the most time to do. Then others are easy and fast.

  7. Lovely words Mr. H., you know exactly what I am talking about.

    Vrtarica I too start with the hardest chore for the same reason.

    Divided by miles, connected by the human condition - food for thought - peace

  8. Ruth, I envy your peace and contentment.
    You are my hero :)

  9. and I get worried about not washing the dishes up!!!!

  10. Thanks Hick you will find it too

    John maybe you should hop on a plane and come help me . . . there is a big pile just waiting for you


  11. There are a lot of people in the world who never find that place of not worrying about what gets done and what doesn't. Congratulations on making it to that peaceful place.

    I am glad to know though, that you have plenty of food put up from last year so that this year's problems won't keep you from eating well this winter. I hope you feel better soon.

  12. Agwh - you are so sweet to look in on me and send encouragement my way, thanks